Crisis of the Dress, Heart, Hands, and Wallet

August 24, 2010 § 2 Comments

Sounded like I had it all figured out on Sunday, right?  Yeah, then Lovely posted this video on Monday (if you have an adverse reaction at first, just wait till she spins in the stair well):

And a crisis ensued.  What if I regret choosing a short dress with straps?  Maybe I want a long, dramatic, glamorous, expensive GOWN.  I only get to be an indulgent bride once in my life.

I didn’t originally think I wanted to be that kind of bride.  I pride myself on being low maintenance, I don’t want to need assistance taking a bathroom break on our wedding day, and have I mentioned I’m a penny pincher?  Cheap.  Skate.  So my crisis boils down to this: watching the video made Carol Hannah’s Beaufain gown rise to the top of the pool of dresses that have been swimming around in my head these days, but knowing the cost of materials and production versus the retail price of a gown (not to mention the fact that I possess the skills to create beautiful things with my own hands) prohibit me from unclenching my fists and spending the money on a dress that makes me feel incredible.  I think I’d be physically incapable of paying.  I think I might actually, factually drop dead.

But I want that dress sooooooooooo badly!  At the risk of sounding conceded, I looked so good in it.  And it looked so good on me (and would look even better in my size, when it could actually be zipped instead of Melanie holding it in place).  Plus all those multi-tone ruffles … and the way it would look when it gets bustled … Have you ever had the urge to eat a garment?  Because I want to eat the Beaufain dress.  Maybe that’s just lunchtime talking.

I spent all of last night trying to convince myself that I didn’t want it.  It would be hot.  It would be hard to move in.  It wasn’t what I originally imagined myself wearing.  I’m not the kind of girl who wears that kind of dress.  I’d be showing off.  It’s more formal than I thought I wanted.  I wouldn’t be able to do my half of the goofy choreography Cesar and I keep talking about for our first dance.  All important points.  And of course, it’s expensive (in my opinion).

Cesar spent all of last night trying to rationalize with me and convince me that if it’s what I reeeeeeeeeeeeealllly want, it’s okay to spend the money.  We’ll only get married once.  I’ve earned it.  I shouldn’t let everybody else’s budgets and money saving tactics influence my decision.  A couple thousand dollars over the course of our lifetime is not going to be a big deal.  And grad school tuition (should I decide to go) is so much more, the money I would save by getting a second or third choice dress will not help me significantly.  And the Beaufain dress is a reasonable price as far as new, long, beautiful, designer wedding gowns go, anyway!  It really is!  But.  I’m. Cheap.

So I still don’t know if I can do it.  I’ve had it drilled into me that I need to make sensible purchases and save for the future.  And spending a good chunk of my net worth on one day (even though it’s our wedding day and as Cesar says, it’s totally acceptable for my dress to be the most expensive single item in the room) frankly terrifies me to the point of tears.

And the kicker is I could do it myself!  I mean, come on, I named my blog An Artful Wedding for a reason!  I could so easily find an inexpensive base dress, in a fitted trumpet shape, made of decent fabric, and embellish it to my liking.  I even had a dream last night that I did exactly that.  But Carol Hannah was so awesome, and I would be supporting an amazing young designer.  Designers need clients!  They need to sell their art!  Plus, whatever I make for myself would be undeniably influenced by her dress, and then I don’t know if you get into issues of intellectual property and whatnot, but …  AND I feel a strange need to be loyal to Lovely because they’ve given me not one, but two amazing shopping experiences!

Plus, what about the Fiesole?  Aaaaagghh!!  I still love that dress too!  I want to show off whatever cute shoes I buy, and what about the 50s!!  Waaaahh!!  This is way harder than any decision I’ve ever made before.

I think I need to forget about dresses for a while.  We’re still a year away from the wedding day, so why cause a head explosion when it’s not even crucial to make a decision today?  Maybe I’ll start thinking about the cute shoes.

Kinda cute?

Maybe some vintage 80s?

These are cool, too.

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